The Appointment
by elainefr
Summary: Jesse and Trent have a conversation. I wrote this and felt the need to put it out there, but man I hate to put it out there. It's not like I don't know that crap happens in real life, but this is supposed to be my getaway...right? Anyway, I hope I don't bum anyone out too much. Maybe no one will even see it but me (well aren't I narcissistic? aren't we all?) Hope you enjoy...
1. Chapter 1

"You know she's in love with you." Jesse Moreno stated to his longtime friend as they watched Daria's car disappear from the Lane driveway.

 _I'm in love with her too._

"You gonna do anything about it?"

"We're friends Jesse."

"So you'd be okay with her and that guy that's been sniffing' around her?"

"He could be good for her."

"He's not you."

"I won't mess with her life Jesse. She's always had to struggle when it comes to feelings. It's good that she'd willing to let someone in. I want her to be happy."

"She could be happy with you."

"It's not in the cards for us man, so give it a rest."

"Okay," Jesse relented. "I'm gonna head out. See you tomorrow?"

"Doubt it. I promised I would help with some stuff."

"Okay. I'll catch up with you later on then."

"Alright, cool."

Trent shut and locked the door behind Jesse thinking over their conversation. He opened the nightstand by his bed and took out the medicine that he was to take for the evening. He took the steroids with the bottled water beside his bed. He put the bag back and checked the card on his nightstand. It had his appointment set for nine am the next day at the cancer treatment center. He would be starting his treatments then.


	2. Support

_I'm getting chemotherapy… I wonder how it'll feel. They said to show up early. Me looking at clocks…odd. I guess it was good to get all of that other stuff done. The quicker I get through that, the sooner I can be done. There sure is a lot of equipment here. That computer must cost more than the Tank when it was new. Where am I going now, oh yeah, the nurse said it was now time for my infusion. I hope the bed is comfy, not that it would stop me._

 _This bed isn't bad, but the pills…they just keep shoveling them at me and I keep taking them. I keep thinking about Janey… how do I tell her? Do I tell her? Does telling her make me a selfish bastard? Does not telling her make me a selfish bastard? Kind of a catch 22. I can't even get use to this mess so how can I expect them to. I don't want to upset anyone's life with my stuff, but what happens if Jane or Jesse pops up and I'm like really bad off? They shouldn't have to come in on that shit. Jesse and the guys will go into protective mode and think that they have to do the mother hen- their version of it. Then everyone will give me that 'look'. The look that makes you feel like every moment might be your last. Should I try and contact mom and dad? How would I contact them? I just want to be able to share what's going on with me and have everyone to continue with their lives without letting what's going on with me mess it up for them._

"Okay, Mr. Lane we're all done here. The doctor will review your results with you in two days. Here is your appointment card." The receptionist handed Trent the card.

"Thanks," he put the card in his billfold and started towards the door.

"Trent," a familiar female voice called from behind him. He turned in the direction of the voice. "What are you doing here?"

Trent didn't lie well on a good day, so being caught under the inquisitive gaze of Helen Morgendorffer didn't exactly help him to come up with a good cover story.

"Ah- hey Mrs. Morgendorffer."

Helen's eyes narrowed. She'd seen and heard the receptionist make the continued follow up appointment for Trent and she could guess the rest from there.

"Join me for lunch."

It wasn't a question and he nodded while following her out the door.

Lunch becomes dinner…

"It wasn't so bad Mrs. M. The beds are comfy and they have cable tv. The nurses were really nice too. So like I said, it wasn't so bad."

Helen looked at Trent's young form sitting there trying to convince her, a seasoned lawyer, that he was just fine to go through this alone. Though she kept her lawyer face outwardly, the mother part of her, ached for him.

 _Suck it up Helen. He doesn't need that right now. He needs the thing that you do best…your strength._

"So, what time will we be seeing the doctor?"

"Mrs. M, no I don't need for you to rearrange your life for me. You're a top notch attorney with clients and-"

"It wasn't a question dear." Helen spoke in her most polite voice that left no broaching for argument. "You need someone there that can ask the questions that you might not be thinking of and as fate would have it, that's me."

Trent looked at rather intimidating form of Helen Morgendorffer. She was offering him the very thing that he had been contemplating earlier- support.

"Thanks Mrs. M and it's at 9am."

Helen made note of it in her planner. They spent the afternoon going over everything that the doctor had told Trent about what to expect and what he should be doing in the meantime. Helen did insist on picking Trent up for each appointment to make sure that he was on time; all the while insisting that it was on her way anyway and gave her an excuse to get away from the office. Trent knew otherwise, but was grateful for Helen's concern. Helen walked Trent to his door after losing the argument on him staying with her and Jake.

"If you need anything, day or night, call me." Helen squeezed his hand gently.

"I will Mrs. M." Trent offered a smile at her kindness.

Helen looked at him wanting to say so much more, but couldn't find the words.

"It's okay Mrs. M and thanks for everything."

She went back to her car and watched as Trent went back in the house.

 _Damn it!_


	3. One, Two, Three, PUKE

Morgendorffer Residence

"Where are you going?" Helen asked her daughter just as Daria thought that she had made her escape out the back door.

"To visit a friend," Daria said with the intention of hurrying on out before her mother could detain her any further.

"Would this friend happen to be Trent Lane?"

Daria sighed letting her shoulder sag slightly, to Helen's dismay.

"He has mastered the qualifications of being a friend." She replied in classic monotone as she turned back to her mother preparing herself for battle, but was struck by her mother's odd expression.

"Okay, just don't be too long."

 _He needs his rest._

Then her mother did something that Daria hadn't seen in years, she picked up a dish towel and started wiping down the counter. Daria watched her for a few minutes feeling somewhat ill at ease before deciding to take advantage of it and fleeing out the door.

Lane Household…

"Hey."

"Hey…"

 _He looks tired…even for Trent._

"Everything…okay?" she shifted the bag of groceries to the other arm. She was making them nachos for movie night and hopefully moving things closer than friendship.

"Yeah, late night," he stood leaning against the door jam.

"Oh? Doing what?"

Trent scratched the back of his head and even that seemed to be a huge effort for him.

"Hanging out, you know the usual…"

She looked at him for a moment. He knew that she was coming home this weekend. She had told him…and no, they didn't have any formal plans, but it was understood that she would be spending time with him- just like always.

"So you just partied all night?"

 _And probably half the day by the looks of you..._

Trent just looked at her. What could he say without telling her everything? Better for her to be mad about this than finding out the truth, he thought looking at her fighting to stave off her building anger and disappointment.

"You don't have anything to say?"

 _Damn, she sounds hurt. She looks hurt too. I'm just not ready to go down that road with her right now. Focus, what is she saying?_

"…and I know that you didn't ask me to, but I do make an effort to get back here as many weekends as I can and it's not for my mother's frozen lasagna." She spoke all of this with an urgency that was new to her and yet not completely alien in its feel. She had wanted to have this talk with him- about her feelings, but not like this.

"Daria, maybe…" he looked into her hope filled and still trusting eyes and wanted more than anything to have 'the talk' with her, but now could not have been a worse time for him. "Maybe we should do this another time."

The next few seconds were filled with horrific moments that neither Trent nor Daria would forget. Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she felt the sting of him distancing himself from her. She swallowed hard and gave a slow nod. The bag of groceries in her hands weighed heavy and she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with it in a situation like this. Trent watched all of this and ached to take away the pain that he was inflicting.

"I should go." She said the words, but didn't move. He knew that she wanted him to stop her. She wanted him to tell her that he was sorry, and he was sorry but he would not stop her. He would allow her to move forward towards a real future. So when he spoke, he did so hiding the heaviness in his heart.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

She shoved the bag towards his midsection before abruptly turning on her heels and leaving. He tried to catch the bag before it slipped, but he was too late. He knelt and slowly began to retrieve the spilled contents and take them to the kitchen. He sat in the nearest chair, sagging slightly. Bringing the bag into the kitchen had been a physical exertion that wore him down. It seemed like lately everything was bringing him down. He heard the sound of her tires screeching as she drove off.

 _Damn! Sorry Daria. Man I-_

Trent was stopped short in whatever other thoughts were to come because of the wave of nausea that seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks. He doubled over trying to catch his breath and control the urge to puke until he could make it to the bathroom. He stumbled and bumped into the wall and was just about at his goal before the meager contents of the day decided to come up and took a bow all over the hallway floor. He tried to remember to keep his nose as averted from the smell as much as possible, since the odor of actual vomit always made him want to vomit more than the original nausea. His head hurt and now he reeked of puke. He sat on the hallway floor leaning back against the wall and waited.

 _I've got to figure something out about this damn nausea… I hurt her…I hurt Daria…I feel like shit and I hurt her…DAMN!_


	4. The Morning After

"Trent?" Helen's voice seemed to be coming from somewhere far away.

 _Focus and breathe, focus and- What the hell is that smell? …ah, yes the puke. It smelled even worse than last night._

Trent opened one eye and then the other after feeling the persistent hand on his shoulder. Helen's concerned face slowly came into focus. He tried to sit up from where he half lay in the hallway, but failed.

"Just be still a minute," she firmly suggested and stood to discard of her overcoat by tossing it as close to the nearest chair that she could. "Now, let me help you." She moved so that she was on the side of him to use the wall as a brace and then with his help, they got him into a standing position. Now it was only a matter of walking him to the couch while he still had some strength.

Helen looked at the young man lying on the couch looking more exhausted than she had ever seen anyone look, then she looked at her surroundings.

 _This is not suitable for someone trying to recover from- from- It's just not suitable for his situation._

"Thanks for helping me get to the sofa Mrs. M."

Trent's voice brought her eyes back to his pale face that was studying her.

"I'm okay now. Just had a bit of trouble making it to the bathroom in time…"

"It's okay Trent. I came by to check on you…I know Daria came by…"

"Yeah…" he sighed. "I think I hurt her feelings."

"I'm sure she'll be fine."

"I didn't mean to hurt her. I was just so tired and she thought it was because I had been partying all night; I didn't want to tell her the truth."

"Trent," Helen spoke a lot firmer than she felt, for her heart lurched for him and for her daughter. He looked at her expectantly. "You shouldn't worry about Daria. Your focus has to be on getting well and staying well. Now, where is your anti-nausea medication? I want to make sure that you're taking the right amounts, so that it doesn't hit you so hard again."

He looked at her sheepishly.

"You didn't get it filled did you?"

He shook his head.

"Why?"

"I can handle the nausea; this was just and accident is all."

"When was the last time you spoke with Amanda and Vincent?"

 _Who? Oh, yeah my folks. They're always just mom and dad to me._

"A of week ago…" Trent sat a bit straighter, trying to gain a bit of his composure. Mrs. Morgendorffer was smart and as nice as she was being, the lawyer in her was continually figuring things out. "And no, they don't know. I tried to tell them, but Mom was so excited about her and dad finally being on the same continent to do each of their assignments and spending some time together that I decided to wait. They're supposed to be back in a couple of weeks. I'll tell them then."

"What about Jane? You two have always seemed close."

"That's why I didn't want to tell her until I knew if the treatment worked. She needs to focus on school and her art work."

 _I also didn't want her to tell Daria either. They both have a shot at making something out of themselves. I will not be the cause of either of them not doing that._

"She's your family. I know that she would want to be here for you."

Trent looked straight ahead determined.

"I don't want her worrying about me. I am the older brother. I protect her."

"Trent," Helen placed a hand over his, "Cancer is not something that anyone should ever face alone."

"You have cancer?" Jane's voice came from the entranceway behind them where she stood still holding her duffle bag and now wore a look of shocked fear on her face.


	5. The Whole ThingSucks

Helen watched the brother and sister as they talked. Both showed remarkable strength, in her opinion. There were no outbursts of woefulness, nor was there the flooding of tears as she thought that there might be. There was, however the comfort of a hand placed on his arm and meaningful looks passed between them along with a very definitive promise that she would see him through to recovery. He made her promise to stay in school and keep doing well with her studies before giving her a full account of everything that the doctor said that he had to do as well as wat to expect. Helen didn't go back in the room until she knew that they were done and when she entered it was with the tray laden with various crackers and water bottles and ginger ale. The duo smiled gratefully at the older woman that they had almost forgotten was there.

"I take it Daria doesn't know." Jane stated to them both.

"I don't want her to know…not yet," Trent spoke adamantly.

"She's my best friend Trent."

"I'm your brother Jane."

The two looked at each other.

"What about Jesse, Max, and Nick?"

"…not yet."

Jane looked to Helen helplessly.

"I'm not trying to bust your balls here brother, but from my knowledge about dealing with this kind of situation, it is best to have as much support around you as possible. Granted, my knowledge is limited but-"

"Is that what you would do?" Trent asked her.

"I believe that I would," She replied confidently.

"Really? You'd want the people that you love to watch you waste away? Or worse, watch them put their lives on the back burner, relying on some obscure hope that may or may not work out. You would be cool with looking into their eyes and seeing the hopeless despair that they struggle to hide from you because they think that you aren't strong enough to handle it?" Trent stood and paced the room as anger filled him and gave uncharacteristic rise to his voice. "I don't want that. I don't want it for anyone near me. This shit- SUCKS!" he dropped into the nearest chair feeling suddenly deflated from such a strong emotional outburst.

"It does suck Trent," Helen said the word even though it left an awful taste on her tongue. "Cancer- the whole situation does," she went to kneel in front of him so that she could look him in the eye, "but if you use that fire that you just had as weapon in this battle then you have more than a fighting chance."

"Mrs. M-"

"No, there can be no wavering in this. There can be no wait and see what happens and neither of us," she looked back at Jane then at Trent again, "can do it for you. You have to decide that you want to beat it or all the treatments in the world won't help you."

Trent still felt the fire in him and realized that he did want it to work out. No, not just work out, but he wanted to live every part of his life to the very fullest that he could.

"Thanks Mrs. M. Guess I needed that."

"Anytime Trent and since I'm on a role, I would like to encourage you to do as your sister suggested and utilize the resources that you have. Gather your strength from your friends and family. They would want to be there for you… let them."

"I'll… think about it."

 **Mystic Spiral**

"What's the 'sitch' guys?" Nick asked of the impromptu meeting that Trent had called at the Lane household. Jesse and Max were already there seated on the couch and chair.

"I just wanted to let you guys in on what's been happening with me lately."

All eyes turned to Trent sharply. His voice was different…serious.

"I don't want anyone to make a big thing out of it, cause I've got it under control but… I have cancer."

Jesse just stared at him while Max and Nick looked at each other first, then him.

"Damn…" Nick muttered. "Sorry 'bout that man."

"Well… you're doing like chemo and stuff right?" Max asked hopefully. "The doctors can fix this can't they?"

"I'm doing what the doctors tell me and hopefully it works."

"…hopefully…" Max looked more than a little deflated.

"Don't worry Max; I'm giving it a good fight." Trent assured the clearly worried young man sitting across from him.

"He shouldn't be comforting you dumbass. You should be helping him out." Nick punched Max in the shoulder nearest to him and then turned back to Trent. "Appointments and shit, we got you there and back whenever and whatever time."

"Thanks, but I've been managing pretty well."

"The treatments can take a lot out of you sometimes though," Nick countered, "my Aunt Carol would be a mess, even when she tried to hide it. It would just leave her drained, so we'll take turns and stuff. Right guys?"

"Yeah," Max agreed readily.

"Jesse?" Nick snapped his fingers.

Jesse nodded looking off to the distance.

"Okay then, where's that appointment calendar that they give you?" Nick asked.

"My room, top drawer," Trent replied and watched as Nick and Max both went to make plans for getting him to and from his appointments. They needed to feel productive, he supposed with a smile on his lips.

"How long have you known?" Jesse's voice was somber and solemn.

"Few weeks."

"Any particular reason you didn't tell me sooner?"

The two friends didn't look at each other as they spoke.

"I didn't want to deal with it myself. Easier to do if no one else knows."

"I'll get my stuff. I can stay in Penney's old room."

"See, that's what I don't want, people changing their entire life for me."

"You're my brother Trent."

Trent looked at his best friend's profile. Jesse turned so that he could look at Trent.

"I know man…"


	6. Trying to come clean

"Hello?"

"Hey Daria…it's Trent."

Momentary silence; she'd seen the Lane name come up and had assumed that is was Jane since she had went home for the weekend- again. It felt like all the air was gone from the room, except she could breathe…kind of.

"Hey…"

"Uh- whatcha doin?"

"I was-"

"Thought that maybe we could talk."

"We're talking now."

"I know. I'd rather talk in person-"

"Ready when you are," Trent heard a male voice in the background say.

"I-"

"I'll just talk to you later," he hurried off the phone, hanging up before she could even say goodbye.

 _She's going out on a date. I know I pushed her away…it hurts though. Maybe I shouldn't tell her right now. She's going out; she must feel something for the guy. I bet she's wearing that soft green sweater that shows off the gold flecks in her brown eyes. Then, if he's able to make her laugh- really laugh, that smile… it'll be over for him then. He'll be completely, head over heels-_

"That was fast," Jane's voice broke his thoughts.

"She had company…"

"So you didn't get a chance to tell her that you wanted to speak with her?"

"I did, but-" he lost his thought for a moment reliving the voice from the other side of the line. "I got off the phone when I realized that I was interrupting."

"Did she say that?" Jane knew that Daria could be ruthlessly cold to people, but never to Trent. He was her one Achilles heel, Jane had often thought.

"She didn't have to," Trent stood and made his way down the hall towards his room. He sat replaying the phone call over and over in his mind until the alarm on his phone went off signaling the time for his meds to be taken. He glared at the bag that contained the bottles. He wanted nothing more than to hurl it into the nearest trash can and forget about cancer and treatments and what happens next.

 _It still wouldn't change anything though. In fact, it would make things much worse. You need to stay focused on getting better. Even if it is too late for you and Daria, Janey needs you._

He scooped up the bag and took out the appropriate pills to take. It took an extra swallow of water for the larger pills, but he got 'em down. Then came the soft knock at the door, followed by Jane poking her head inside.

"Trent?"

"I'm okay Janey…just pissed I guess."

She sat beside him.

"I know I pushed her away. I still want her to be happy." He looked at his sister. "I want you to be happy too. That's why I didn't want to say anything until I had some definitive answers."

"She'd want to know Trent."

"I'm gonna get a shower and go to bed." Trent retrieved his things and took them to the bathroom with him.

Jane watched him leave with mixed feelings.


	7. Chapter 7

"Okay, I'm here. Now what was so damn important that it couldn't wait until next weekend or something?" Daria asked of her best friend, mother, and father that were sitting in the Morgendorffer kitchen waiting for her.

The trio passed looks with one another before her father spoke first.

"Why don't you sit down for a sec honey, let the old man here make you a cup of coffee?"

Daria really began to worry now. Jane and Helen were both very opinionated women and yet here they were letting Jake take a stance

on something first…spooky.

"Dad are- did you-" she swallowed the lump in her throat as images of her father in the hospital returned to the forefront of her brain. "Are you…okay?"

"Sure hon- Oh, Daria no, I'm fine." Jake reassured her realizing where her mind must have went.

Relief passed over her…briefly.

 _Why are mom and Jane so quiet then?_

Jake sat the cup on the table since it had just finished pouring out of the one cup coffee maker.

"Why don't you sit?" Helen finally spoke.

"I'd rather stand mom." Daria couldn't shake the awful feeling that had taken hold of her. Daria looked to Jane, but Jane still said nothing.

"Oh…well then…"

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Daria quietly demanded.

"It's about Trent…" Helen began.

Daria felt that sick feeling of panic begin to well up in the back of her throat again; if someone didn't tell her something soon… She turned to Jane.

"What about Trent? Has there been an accident?"

"Not an accident- he's- he's got," Jane swallowed hard, "he's sick Daria. He's really sick."

Daria could see Jane talking and could even hear the words that were coming out of her mouth, but registering what she was saying would have to come later.

"So we thought that we should ta-"

"I have to get out of here." Daria spun on her heel and headed out the door with Jane and her parents fast on her heels. She spun back to them, making them stop short. "I need to see him." She left walking at a quick speed.

She stood looking at the Lane house for a moment before entering.

 _It was quiet…so very quiet…_

She entered. Part of her expected to see him lounging in the front room on the sofa or in the kitchen at the table having a cup of coffee. He was in neither place. On further entrance and good old fashioned listening, she heard the shower and figured that was where he was. She stood there unsure of how to make herself known.

 _The shower's stopped. You only have a few moments left. Call his name… Okay, anytime now. Breathe, just breathe and say-_

"Trent…..?"

There was a pause.

"Daria…..?"

"…yeah, it's me."

"…be out in a sec."

She wandered back towards the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.

 _Wonder if he's even supposed to be drinking this stuff….._

"Hey Daria."

"Hey Trent."

He stood lounging against the frame of the doorway to the kitchen. She stood by the coffee pot on the counter waiting for it to finish perking.

"What are you doing here?"

"Our phone conversation last night… left me… wondering."

"Wondering?"

"Why did you call?"

He propelled himself forward and dropped into a chair at the table.

"I wanted…to talk."

"About what?"

He shrugged.

"Stuff I've got going on…you, me…..us… and everything in between."

"Perhaps we should go one thing at a time." She poured them each a cup and sat across from him at the table. "Just start talking and let's see where things go."

"It's late…you must have been driving for hours already."

"It's okay; I have time."

She listened to him talk about Mystic Spiral and The Zon and how everyone was doing in the band. He didn't really drink his coffee, but would stir it ever so often and cradle the cup.

"The last time you were here… I wasn't tired because I had been out partying. That's not why I pushed you away."

She was practically holding her breath waiting as he continued.

"I wasn't feeling well." He watched her before continuing. "I haven't been well for a while now."

She sipped at her coffee.

"I've got Cancer." He looked at her in the face. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know. Hell, I wish I didn't know." He swirled the spoon around in the cup some more. "I don't want this to change anything for anyone though. You and Jane need to continue with school and not let my mess interfere with that. I can handle my appointments just fine."

"No offense Trent, but that's ridiculous and a bit insulting."

"What?"

"I get why you didn't want anyone to know, but- well, not telling us- not telling me, is just wrong. The people that care about you, we want to know the good and the bad of your life so that we can help in any way possible. This cancer doesn't just affect you… it affects everyone in your life."

"Yeah, that's comforting."

"I see it hasn't affected your sarcasm," she smirked.

He gave small smile at that.

"Those of us that care for you _want_ to be by your side."

"Bu-"

"It won't interfere with my school, so make no mistake that I plan on doing whatever I can to help."

"You don't have to."

"I know."

They smiled at each other. The dim lighting of the dining room felt warmer somehow.


End file.
